Who Am I?

This past month has been quite challenging yet life-building. I've had the opportunity to really sit back and analyze my life and realize all that I've been blessed with. As a mother, I am honored to be blessed with four beautiful amazing children that not only drive me insane, but give me peace through their sweet spirits and joy through their precious smiles.

I have also been blessed to spend 8 1/2 years with a great man that has unknowingly given me numerous opportunities to grow, learn, strengthen and improve myself.

Through this he has enabled my need and desire to seek out peace, love and strength through my amazing and merciful Father in Heaven and my gracious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Never in my entire life have I been so aware of His precence. Just when I start to lose myself through the challenges thrown my way, He comes in for the steal, saves me, and reminds me who I am. As the peace sets in I feel His power overwhelm my soul and it is times like these that I know I'm in His arms and I'm reminded that I am a jewel in His eyes.

Never before has His promptings been so clear and precise in what direction to take my life. One experience in particular as I was wondering an unfamiliar place as a result from heartache, my heart cried out to Him to not only bring me peace, but to guide me to where I was supposed to be at that moment. As I would approach an intersection I would literally hear the words...left, right, straight, stop and breath, etc. I listened. These directions brought me back to where I started in this unfamiliar place. Why? For this is what I was trying to escape from! I took a deep breath and continued to listen and as He continued to guide me closer to where I didn't want to go, my heart began to drop. He reassured me that He wasn't leaving me and warned me that He'd catch me as soon as I fell. For He knew what was ahead of me.

One thing I've always had in me my entire life is faith. Several times throughout my life I've been asamed of relying so much on faith, but I knew I had to put my faith in Him at this very moment. For I knew one thing for sure...He knew what He was doing. What He led me to surely wasn't anything I wanted, and as I literally fell to the ground in agony I immediately felt His love surround me as He embraced me in His arms and held me as He promised He would.

I was able to pull myself back together and regain control for a small moment. Little did I know I would be continuously throwing myself back into His arms from then on for the days, weeks and maybe months to come.

I've lost myself time and again as I've struggled to deal with this challenge put in front of me. But as I continue to reach out to Him I am continuously reminded who I am and what I am capable of.

God gives us so many resources that can help us in our trying times that are always readily available. And although I am truly grateful for these resources and for the help they've given me throughout my life, there is absolutely no resource more valuable than the gift of prayer. Through prayer we are better able to heed to the promptings of His spirit to guide us to Him, because it is only through Him that we can find peace and happiness that so many of us are constantly seeking. I am so grateful for the growth of my relationship with Him and welcome all opportunities, good or bad, that can allow me to improve myself through Him. I've had the opportunity to discover my self-worth and be brave enough to take on the "unknown" through exercising my faith and trust in Him. My ambitions are no longer unreachable and hope still remains for my ultimate dream of salvation and eternal happiness with my precious little family.