You’ll be amazed at the things that I’ve heard throughout my life. Or maybe you won’t be. As I’ve been blessed with many opportunities to strengthen my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father I have contemplated the many offensive remarks that have been directed my way. While I don’t grudges whatsoever, I often investigate where and how these individuals could even bring themselves to say such things.
An ex-employer and member of my religious organization—I loved my job that I had as a senior. My boss liked me and I enjoyed her as well. I couldn’t wait to introduce my prom date to her before we headed out that night. She was pleased that I thought to stop by. It was only a few days later I would hear what she told a family member of mine. “She’s such a pretty young girl. Why would she bring a black man to her prom when there is so much out there for her?” I remember responding to one of my sisters, “Why does that even matter?” REALLY!
A colored parent of one of the children that attended the daycare that I worked at—There is two teachers that work in each classroom managing 18 toddlers, potty training and all. Apparently her son’s training pants had a little damp spot that resulted her accusing me of being racist. Apparently I didn’t want to help him with his potty training because I was racist. REALLY!
My Laurel Teacher—My husband and I attended church the very next Sunday after we were married. This wonderful sister whom I looked up to heard the news that I had just gotten married. As a newlywed usually is, I was glowing with happiness. I didn’t expect to have to explain that just because it wasn’t a temple marriage doesn’t mean that it wasn’t right. I went further to explain that of course a temple marriage was our goal within the next year. (Wait---why do I have to justify my marriage). She wanted to meet him. I jokingly (but seriously) said, “Oh you’ll know who he is because he’s the only black guy in the building!” Her shocked face definitely wasn’t what I intended as a response but I wasn’t surprised. But I was speechless at her verbal response. “Can you make it any harder on yourself?” REALLY!
A fellow member of a ward we just moved into—My husband was approached and asked if they could get a picture of our family because she wanted to show another person that we do have “different” people in the Mormon church because they didn’t believe that we did. Hmmmm….REALLY!
While these are but a few that occasionally invade my thoughts, they are the ones that hurt the deepest. I feel no anger towards any of these individuals, but I do feel sadness. These comments alone have created an unwanted culture within one of the very places I find peace. To this day some still believe that inter-race relationships are an affliction to oneself. My husband’s race is not what has caused issues in our marriage. It is the misconception among many that view inter-race marriages are harder that has caused problems in our marriage. In fact, our different cultures have brought much fun and humor to our marriage. I look forward to the day that the church reflects every culture and color—Leadership, tabernacle choir and all. We need to rid ourselves of these false misconceptions if we are to be effective missionaries and bring more of God’s children and more diversity to this beautiful Gospel. I forgive and forget—but most importantly, I remember the lesson learned—these experiences are valuable lessons.
